GARIB UNPLUGGED!

BY BISWADEEP GHOSH

If Virus Locha had been a cricketing scoreboard, it would have read 32 all out. Indeed, such was the VJ's mental state that he had found himself grinning when he had woken up that day. After around ten immomentous TV shows in which he had spoken to big stars pretending to be good actors, he was thrilled at the prospect of interviewing Garib Shaan, India's solitary method actor.

In the studio sometime later, Virus stood daydreaming with his eyes half shut. But, the spell was interrupted by the brouhaha outside. "Uff, look at Garib...God, Garib...wow, there comes Garib...he still looks like a bachcha...." The VJ opened his eyes, and saw nothing. He heard a voice, "Hi Virus, I hope I am not late." Knowing how often he imagined inanities, he chose to ignore the voice, only to hear someone growl, "Virus...." The firm voice of his short lady producer stirred him into action, and he instinctively looked down. There was Garib, standing right next to the woman, smiling away. Virus squeaked a garbled apology, and ushered them in.

Inside, the crew was ready. Without wasting a second, Virus began his well-rehearsed speech. "Today, we have with us, the one and only Garib Shaan, the common man's favourite actor who played Bungle Pandey and, yes, even a Disc Jockey recently." Then, he turned around, looked at the actor, and said, "Can you tell us how you managed to play a student-Disc Jockey at 40 so brilliantly?"

"Tough," the actor replied, "Bungle Pandey, my character in my previous film, lived in 1857. To feel and act like he might have, I used to have a bath in a river at six in the morning every day. To make my character believable, I even visited a kotha to know how courtesans live." "A kotha?" "Yes," Garib affirmed, adding, "To impart authenticity, one has to apply one's self as well as one can."

"Turning into a Disc Jockey immediately thereafter must have been tough," Virus murmured, reminding Garib of the original question.

"You bet it was," Garib replied, sipping on Joke, his favourite drink. "I was living off wafers and soft drinks to get my attitude spot on. My wife and I had rows daily, but I managed to explain why that was necessary. You won't believe what I did later. I actually borrowed a toy gun, visited a radio station, and made sure that the jockey aired my songs."

"But your films have some great songs..."

"Huh, who is talking about my movies? I sang as many as six songs, and none of them was Mere liye thhanda la, my big ummusical hit. People must have been cursing the radio station," Garib laughed loudly, eyeing the bottle of Joke.

"What have you done for Fun Ah, your latest?"

"Sad ah, but I can't talk till you watch the film and frame questions. Can you act in a film without reading the script? Method, my friend, is what is important." Garib rolled his eyes, rose slightly from his seat, and shook Virus's hand abruptly.

Time to leave. That was the signal. Virus looked at the camera and said, "Ladies and gentlemen, that was Garib Shaan, the actor whose never-ending search for perfection makes him perfect."

When Garib was getting inside his swanky car, he heard someone whisper, "Did Virus even realise that you did method acting for the first time in your life a little while ago?" Shaken up by what he had heard, the VJ looked in the direction of the voice and saw nobody. I must have imagined a voice, he thought to himself as he walked inside to see the recording of his most honest interviewee ever.

(The copyright of this column rests with The Maharashtra Herald)